nadiera hashim

Last Wednesday was one of those days that felt like a warm hug from the past. A rare and much-needed catch-up with my best friend Najihah. We’ve been inseparable since high school, macam kacang dalam pod. But as we grew older, life decided to do its thing and take us on different paths. Work, responsibilities, adulting in general, all busy stuff. Tapi somehow, we always make sure to meet at least once a month. Our little promise to pause the chaos and just hang out together.

Whenever we meet, it’s like dumping a whole month of tea, problems, funny stories, and random updates all at once. Nothing is off-limits. It’s raw, real, and full of laughter, and sometimes, okay fine, even a few tears slip in. That’s the beauty of our friendship, honestly.

For this month’s meet-up, we kept things super simple and dekat rumah je. We went to Kulim Central, which honestly is just around the corner from where we live. But honestly, it’s not always about the destination. The company is what really matters, and I swear, good company can make even the tiniest mamak feel like a five-star experience.

We kicked off our little date with lunch at Myeondong Tteokbokki. Najihah was craving their Seondubu Jjigae like crazy and of course I had to be the supportive best friend. Honestly, I’m not really a huge fan of Korean food. It’s just not my thing. But seeing Najihah so excited made it all worth it. I ended up with a simple chicken porridge and we sat down to eat, spilling all the stories from the past few weeks. The laughter, the side glances, the "remember that one time" moments, it honestly felt like high school all over again.

After lunch, we went to Llaollao because apparently, froyo is more important than solving world problems. I got pistachio yogurt with white granola and Chips Ahoy, and I swear, I felt something magical in my mouth. We shared a medium tube because sharing is caring, or maybe because I didn’t want to be judged for eating it all alone. Every bite was like, “Yes, life is good. Stop asking questions.”

But the highlight of the day? Definitely watching Blood Brother at the cinema. Let me just say this, it was worth every cent. I initially bought the tickets because, well… Syafiq Kyle. Enough said, right? But the movie turned out to be more than just good looks on screen. The plot twist had us gasping and clutching our seats, it was that intense. I haven’t felt that invested in a movie in a long time. It brought back memories of the last time we watched a movie together, Highland Tower, back in our high school days. Crazy how time flies.

Before heading home, we made a quick stop at CU Mart to grab some snacks because why not? We weren’t done talking, obviously. More stories, more emotional unloading, more laughter. As our little hangout came to an end, we grabbed some Ai Cha for our families, a small gesture that wrapped up the day on a sweet note.

Spending time with Najihah is always grounding. In the middle of our busy lives, it's moments like these that remind me of the importance of friendship, the kind that stays strong no matter how many years pass or how many things change. Just two best friends, a simple day out, and hearts a little lighter by the end of it.

Here’s to many more spontaneous meet-ups, deep conversations, and of course, more pistachio Llaollao.

Lots of love,
Nadiera Hashim
1:15 p.m.
Kedah, Malaysia.

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Assalamualaikum and hi everyone. Growing up, I lived with a lot of silence. I am the youngest in my family, the bongsu, so from a young age I learned that talking too much or sharing my thoughts was seen as kurang ajar. In my world, speaking up was not welcomed. So I stayed quiet. I kept everything inside, afraid of what people might say. Slowly, I lost my voice, covered by silence and self-doubt.

Since I was young, I learned an unspoken rule at home: speaking up means melawan. So I pushed my feelings away and kept my thoughts to myself. I was scared of being rejected or scolded if I spoke honestly. Heh, of course I pernah suarakan my own thoughts, but maybe its sounded rude, so i got penampar from my older brother. Since that day, silence became my shield. Bila diam, jauhkan diri dari semua orang, I felt safe.

As I grew older, the silence became heavier. I saw others speak confidently, sharing their opinions without fear, while I stayed in the background, trying not to be noticed. Fear of judgment made me stay quiet. I felt invisible in a world that only listens to people who speak.

Because of this silence, I struggled a lot. I found it hard to build deep connections with people. I felt stuck in a cycle of insecurity and passivity. Many chances passed me by because I didn’t believe in myself enough to try. My silence slowly became a wall between me and my own happiness.

Silence also makes it hard for me to let my emotions out. I’m not good at telling people how I feel. I’m used to simpan semuanya sendiri. Even when I’m hurting, I stay quiet and deal with everything alone. Sometimes it feels like nobody wants to listen to me anyway, so I choose not to talk. I used to send a message to my older siblings, telling them about my problems, but they end up blaming me. After that day, I just stopped texting them. In the family group chat, I became the quiet one, only replying bila benda tu penting.

That’s when I realized something, the loudest scream is the one that no one hears. What we see or hear from someone does not always show their real struggle. The deepest pain is often hidden in silence, where silence speaks the loudest. Maybe that’s the reason I talk a lot when I’m with my safe person. With them, I feel safe enough to be myself. I just hope I don’t annoy them, haha.

It’s unfortunate , I mastered the art of being silent even when there’s a lot to be said.

Wishing you bright stars and moon,

Nadiera Hashim

10:30pm

Kedah, Malaysia.

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Last year, on this date marked the beginning of a remarkable journey for me as I welcomed two furry companions into my life: Boba and Cengkih. As fate would have it, these two adorable felines, siblings bound by a shared lineage, became an integral part of my daily existence.

Boba, with his sleek tuxedo coat, and Cengkih, adorned in a vibrant orange merigold, captured my heart from the moment I laid eyes on them. It was through a fortuitous encounter on a Facebook group that I first learned of their existence. The owner, burdened by caring for six cats, sought to find them loving homes. Without hesitation, I knew Boba and Cengkih were meant to be mine.

The decision to adopt Boba and Cengkih is not just a spontaneous desire but rather the culmination of a deep desire to provide a nurturing environment for furry companions. Having never embarked on a fully indoor pet ownership journey before, I was both excited and anxious about what lay ahead.

Cengkih, the gentle soul of the duo, embodies tranquility and grace in every aspect of his being. His soft meows, reminiscent of whispers in the wind, serve as gentle reminders of his presence. With a habitual liking for peaceful slumber, Cengkih finds solace in the warmth of shared beds, seeking comfort alongside me and mama. Despite my best efforts to engage him with toys, Cengkih remains indifferent, preferring the simplicity of quiet companionship over silly play. I can say Cengkih is very manja with me and mama but he hates hugging people but loves belly rub so much.

In stark contrast, Boba emerges as the mischievous counterpart, a whirlwind of energy and mischief. His boisterous meows echo through the house, a testament to his spirited nature and unyielding zest for life. Boba's insatiable curiosity often leads him astray, forever seeking new adventures beyond the confines of home. He once keluar senyap-senyap and went to lepak at my neighbour house. Yet, beneath his bravado lies a timid heart, easily startled by the unknown and quick to seek refuge in familiar surroundings. Well both Boba and Cengkih are coward. Despite his bold manner, Boba's loyalty remains unwavering, his love evident in his desire to remain by my side and that of mama. He loves hugging me!

Together, Cengkih and Boba form a dynamic duo, united by their shared love for me and mama. Their fearful towards my other siblings speaks volumes of their unwavering loyalty, as they seek comfort in the familiarity of my presence.

Cengkih and Boba embody the beauty of individuality within the bonds of companionship. Through their distinct personalities and quirks, they remind me of the depth of connection that exists between humans and their beloved feline friends. In their presence, I find solace, laughter, and unconditional love, forging memories that will be cherished for a lifetime.

The past year has been a journey of mutual growth and companionship, marked by moments of laughter, warmth, and unconditional love. Boba and Cengkih have taught me the true meaning of responsibility and compassion, reminding me of the profound impact that animals can have on our lives. In their presence, I have found solace amidst life's uncertainties, their unwavering companionship serving as a source of strength and comfort. Whether curled up beside me on the bed or playfully chasing after each other, Boba and Cengkih have become more than just pets; they are cherished members of my family.

Looking ahead, I am filled with gratitude for the opportunity to share my life with these two extraordinary beings. As we embark on another year together, I am eager to continue nurturing our bond and creating lasting memories that will be treasured for years to come.

The adoption of Boba and Cengkih has been a transformative experience, enriching my life in ways I could have never imagined. Through their presence, I have discovered the true meaning of love, companionship, and the profound connection that exists between humans and animals. Boba and Cengkih may have entered my life as two strangers, but they have since become irreplaceable pillars of my existence, forever etched in the fabric of my heart. I hope they both will be healthy always and live longer by my side. I once read, throughout our life, we may adopt many cats, however throughout their life, they only have us. Till then.

Are you still reading this?,
Nadiera Hashim
2:45pm
Kedah, Malaysia.

Ps: I wrote this blog post on May 30, but i forgot to publish it. Oh stupid tuwentyfaif years old lady.

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