My Dearest Ayah,

As the years pass by, the ache in my heart for your presence only grows stronger. July 24, 2006, feels like a lifetime ago, yet the memories of you remain vivid in my mind, like treasures I hold onto dearly. I was just a little girl of seven when you left this world, and now, at 25, I find myself longing for your guidance and warmth more than ever.

I miss the sound of your voice, Ayah. It's been so long since I heard you sing those beautiful P-Ramlee’s songs to me before I drifted off to sleep. Your voice was like a lullaby, soothing and comforting, wrapping me in a blanket of love and security. Now, I find solace in my headphones, listening to music that reminds me of you, but it's never quite the same.

The memories we shared at the playground after your long days of work are etched in my heart forever. Every time I visit that place, I'm flooded with nostalgia, playing back those precious moments like a cherished movie reel. How I wish I could recreate those memories with you once more, to feel your hand in mine as we laughed and played together.

Life without you has been a journey filled with ups and downs, struggles and triumphs. There are days when the weight of loneliness feels unbearable, when I yearn for your guidance and wisdom. But through it all, I carry your love within me, a beacon of light in the darkness.

Thank you, Ayah, for being the most incredible father a daughter could ever ask for. Though our time together was short, the impact you made on my life is immeasurable. I am proud to be your youngest daughter, and I would choose you as my father again and again, without hesitation.

I pray that God has granted you a place in paradise, where you can find eternal peace and joy. And until the day we are reunited, know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers. I miss you more than words can express, Ayah, and I will love you for all eternity.

رَّبِّ اغْفِرْلِي وَلِوَالِدَيَّ وَارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيراً

Assalamualaikum, hi everyone. Hope all is well. This week had been a rollercoaster of emotions for me. It felt like every little thing could set me off, and I found myself getting teary-eyed over the smallest of issues. One day, I woke up feeling like I had lost my appetite entirely. It was as if my body refused to cooperate with my desire to nourish it. Despite the lack of hunger pangs, I knew I needed to eat to keep myself going. So, I found solace in repetition, in the familiar comfort of a meal that never failed to soothe me: Nasi, telur mata and kicap manis!

"In the midst of life's storms, let comfort food be your anchor, guiding you through the roughest seas with its warmth and familiarity."

In a small kitchen, filled with the aroma of garlic and soy sauce, I found solace in my simple yet comforting meal: white rice topped with a perfectly fried egg. It was my go-to dish whenever life felt overwhelming, a beacon of warmth and familiarity in times of sadness. As I cracked the egg into the pan, the sound of the shell hitting the surface echoed through the room, a reassuring rhythm that grounded me. The garlic danced in the fragrant oil, releasing its savory essence into the air, mingling with the soy sauce to create a symphony of flavors that tantalized my senses.

With each scoop of rice onto my plate, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders, as if the burdens of the day were being replaced with nourishing comfort. The golden yolk of the fried egg, still slightly runny, spilled over the rice like liquid sunshine, infusing every grain with richness and depth. As I took my first bite, I closed my eyes, allowing myself to be fully present in the moment, savoring each mouthful as if it were a hug from within. The familiar taste transported me to happier times, reminding me that even in the darkest of days, there was still joy to be found in the simplest of pleasures.

With each bite, I felt my spirits lift, my troubles melting away like snowflakes in the warmth of the sun. And as I finished my meal, a sense of contentment washed over me, filling my heart with hope and gratitude.

For me, white rice and fried egg with garlic and soy sauce wasn't just a meal—it was a lifeline, a source of comfort and strength that helped me navigate the rough seas of life with grace and resilience. And as I wiped the last traces of soy sauce from my plate, I knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, I would always find solace in the simple pleasure of a home-cooked meal. 

As the week went on, my emotions began to settle, like the calm after a storm. And through it all, my steadfast meal remained a constant source of comfort, a reminder that even on the darkest of days, there is still warmth and nourishment to be found in the simplest of things.

Till then.

The above was written as part of an attempt to waste time,
Nadiera Hashim
4:20pm
Kedah, Malaysia.

As I savored each spoonful of the creamy concoction, I couldn't help but marvel at its unique flavor. Unlike any ice cream I've had before, the Mixue sundae boasted the subtle taste of susu tepung, a flavor profile that instantly captivated my taste buds. While my abang and kakak weren't as enamored with its taste, I found myself falling head over heels for its creamy goodness.

Perhaps it's because I've always had a fondness for milk, making the susu tepung flavor a welcome surprise. Or maybe it's the novelty of trying something new after years of sticking to plain vanilla. Whatever the reason, I found myself utterly enchanted by the Mixue sundae, relishing each moment of bliss it brought me.

But my love for ice cream runs deeper than just its taste. For me, ice cream is more than just a dessert—it's a source of comfort and joy, a companion through life's ups and downs. Whether I'm feeling sad, mentally drained, or overwhelmed by the challenges of life, a scoop of ice cream never fails to lift my spirits.

There's something magical about the way ice cream can turn a bad day around, transforming tears into smiles and worries into laughter. With each creamy bite, I'm reminded to embrace the sweetness of life and find joy in the simplest of pleasures.

And it's not just the taste that brings me comfort—it's the ritual of indulging in a scoop of ice cream, the act of treating myself to a moment of pure happiness. Every time I buy myself an ice cream, it feels like a gentle reminder to be kind to myself, to persevere through life's challenges with patience and grace.

So, as I sit there, basking in the afterglow of my Mixue sundae experience, I can't help but feel grateful for the gift of ice cream. In a world filled with uncertainty, it's reassuring to know that I can always count on this frozen delight to brighten my day and lift my spirits.

As the saying goes, "Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first." And for me, that dessert will always be ice cream—a sweet reminder that no matter what life throws my way, there's always room for a little happiness in the form of a scoop or two.

Till then. 

May the force be with you, 
Nadiera Hashim
8:30pm
Kedah, Malaysia.

Ps: Here is the picture of me with the Ice cream! Its been a long time since i took a selfie. Kinda awkward hehe 😛

Last year, on this date marked the beginning of a remarkable journey for me as I welcomed two furry companions into my life: Boba and Cengkih. As fate would have it, these two adorable felines, siblings bound by a shared lineage, became an integral part of my daily existence.

Boba, with his sleek tuxedo coat, and Cengkih, adorned in a vibrant orange merigold, captured my heart from the moment I laid eyes on them. It was through a fortuitous encounter on a Facebook group that I first learned of their existence. The owner, burdened by caring for six cats, sought to find them loving homes. Without hesitation, I knew Boba and Cengkih were meant to be mine. 

The decision to adopt Boba and Cengkih is not just a spontaneous desire but rather the culmination of a deep desire to provide a nurturing environment for furry companions. Having never embarked on a fully indoor pet ownership journey before, I was both excited and anxious about what lay ahead.

Cengkih, the gentle soul of the duo, embodies tranquility and grace in every aspect of his being. His soft meows, reminiscent of whispers in the wind, serve as gentle reminders of his presence. With a habitual liking for peaceful slumber, Cengkih finds solace in the warmth of shared beds, seeking comfort alongside me and mama. Despite my best efforts to engage him with toys, Cengkih remains indifferent, preferring the simplicity of quiet companionship over silly play. I can say Cengkih is very manja with me and mama but he hates hugging people but loves belly rub so much. 

Assalamualaikum and hi everyone. I hope you are doing well. Have you watched Disney Tangled? A story about a girl named Rapunzel with long golden hair trapped by her evil 'mother' in the highest tower until she meets a man named Flynn Rider. When she is caged in the tower, she wonders, "When will my life begin?" She even has a song about it, a good one. I still remember the first time Tangled came out at the cinema in 3D, my kakak and abang took me to watch the movie with them. It is my all time favorite Disney movie.

Have you ever felt the same as Rapunzel? You sit and ponder, "When will my life begin?" 

You exist, obviously, but you are not truly living.

Do you get what I mean?

I wake up in the morning, scroll through my phone, take a bath, go to work or wherever, and then I come back home, take a bath again, scroll through my phone again until I fall asleep. And it repeats, over and over again.

I feel like Rapunzel, trapped in the highest tower by her cruel mother, forced to do the same things repeatedly. Except, in this situation, I am both Mother Gothel and Rapunzel.

Being a Rapunzel, I know there is life out there, something I long to see, but something within me is too afraid to venture out. Too afraid to discover if there is happiness on the other side of the road. Too afraid to break free from the routine that is so boring but in some twisted way feels comfortable. Or maybe too afraid to realize that all this time, I’ve been spending my youth unhappily, wasting it on something so mundane.

You see, sometimes, without even realizing it, we become like Mother Gothel, caging ourselves in. We know we’re not “exactly” happy.

We keep lying to ourselves, saying "this is enough for me." but is it really?

I already have the answer in my heart. 

Sometimes we try to protect ourselves too much, even from happiness. We rob ourselves of the potential happiness we could have. We feel content with just feeling “plain” every day.

What can we do then? I think the Rapunzel and Mother Gothel within us need a Flynn Rider, someone unafraid to take risks, to venture out into the world we long for, recklessly.

Till then. 

Like a unicorn, I'm off to spread magic elsewhere,
Nadiera Hashim
8:30pm
Kedah, Malaysia.