After my brother-in-law passed away, Kaklong and her children moved into Mama’s house. Now, we all live together under one roof. At first, it felt a little awkward having my nieces and nephew around all the time. I was used to being the youngest in the house, but suddenly, my life took a 180-degree turn.
I can’t be the "manja" daughter anymore because the new youngest family member is Ayra. But honestly, I don’t mind—I love them. Sometimes, I have to be the strict aunty, especially when it comes to their studies and discipline. But at the same time, I’m also the caring one. I want them to do well, but I also want them to feel safe and loved.
Living with Kaklong is fun. We talk about everything—sometimes for hours. Of course, we fight too, but after a day or two, everything goes back to normal. That’s just how siblings are. Even with all the changes, our home is still filled with love, chaos, and laughter.
The new year began with heartache. My beloved cats, Boba and Cengkih, left me far too soon. Both tested positive for parvo, and despite fighting like true warriors, they couldn’t stay any longer. They were more than just pets; they were a precious gift from Allah, bringing love and warmth into my life.
Losing them was devastating. It took me about a 2 months just to gather the strength to move forward, but even now, the sadness lingers. I still find myself thinking about them, missing their presence, their little quirks, and the comfort they gave me. Every time I pass by their graves, I whisper a quiet "hai" and "goodbye", just like I used to when they were still here. Though they are no longer by my side, they remain in my heart—forever loved, forever missed. Run free my sweethearts.
👯♀️🌙🌸☁️
Fourteen years of friendship—that’s how long Najihah and I have been by each other’s side. Through all the ups and downs, we are still together, and honestly, I can’t even remember the last time we had a real fight—probably back in Form 1.
I am so grateful for this friendship. Najihah has always been there for me, especially when I struggle with my mental health. She listens to every rant, every worry, every overthinking spiral I fall into. And when things get really bad, she doesn’t just offer words—she shows up. She has come to my house at night, just to comfort me during my worst moments.
She is my safe space, my bubble, the person I can talk to about literally everything without fear of being judged. She understands me in ways that few people ever could. Gosh, I love her so much. I just hope our friendship stays as strong as it is now, all the way until we grow old, still laughing, still supporting each other—just like we always have.
🧚🏻♂️🧋🌛👩🏻💼
As for work, I’m still helping Kaklong with her business. It may be a small business, but for me, the experience has been invaluable. From the very beginning, I was involved—registering for SSM, changing the signboard, handling documents, and everything in between. It has been a fun and meaningful journey.
One of the best parts is the people I’ve met along the way. Our business neighbors, who sell roti canai, are some of the nicest people. They treat Kaklong and me so well, and I feel comfortable talking to them. We always share good food and laugh together, making work feel less like a routine and more like an adventure.
I don’t know how long I’ll continue helping Kaklong with the business, but for now, I’m just enjoying the moments, learning as much as I can, and appreciating the people around me.
☁️🫧⋆｡˚
The lion is still alone.
I’m still finding my bubble. The lion is still alone. Many of my friends are already married, building families, and raising children, while I’m still walking this path alone. I remember a time when I didn’t care about being single—it never really bothered me. But maybe it’s because of my age, or maybe something inside me has changed, because now, I find myself thinking about it more.
I want someone. Someone I can talk to, someone who can accept this lion for who she truly is. I’ve discussed this with Najihah since she’s going through the same thing, and honestly, we’re both struggling to find our soulmates. A few weeks ago, I even tried a Muslim dating app, just to see if it could lead me to something meaningful. But I quickly realized how awkward I felt, chatting with strangers. What do you even say? How do you keep the conversation going when there’s no real connection yet? It all felt unnatural to me.— I uninstalled the apps.
Still, I pray for the best when it comes to my jodoh. Maybe soon, Allah will let our paths cross at the right time, in the right way. Until then, I hold on to the same du'a I always recite whenever I find myself drawn to someone:
"Ya Allah, ada satu lelaki ni, I don’t know what his intention is, but You know. If he is good for me, make it easy for him. If he is not, don’t let my heart attach to what’s not meant for me. Aamiin.”
🐱🌸💌
After I lost my dear friends Boba and Cengkih, Mama decided to adopt new kittens. My neighbor had planned to leave them at the market, so Mama stepped in and brought them home. I named them Cherry, Brownie, and Oreo.
At first, I felt a little sad seeing them in the house, using Boba and Cengkih’s things. It was a bittersweet feeling—I missed my two babies so much. But as the days passed, I found myself slowly moving forward. I still carry Boba and Cengkih in my heart, but I believe they would be happy knowing that I’m giving these new little ones a loving home.
For this new year of 2025, I hope that I can read back at this post, and be happy to see anything that I wish today, comes true. I hope the people that I have now, stays. I hope Cherry, Brownie and Oreo lives as long as I do, I hope He continues to bless us with His rezeki, I have to get going now, Happy New Year, everyone. May Allah keep us all in His loving hands. Bye!
