Saying It for Them, Hoping It Reaches Me

Assalamualaikum, hi. Some days, being human feels very fragile. Macam kaca nipis, still standing, but one minor inconvenience away from crying in the bathroom. We wake up, pakai senyuman, buat macam biasa, tapi dalam hati ada benda yang kita sendiri pun tak faham. Adulting katanya, tapi kenapa rasa macam exam yang tak pernah habis?

Sometimes saya sendiri pelik. How can I give advice macam saya ni pakar kehidupan, sedangkan hidup saya pun tengah buffering. Saya boleh tenang-tenang bagi kata semangat, bagi solution, bagi hope, padahal pengalaman tu bukan pun saya yang lalui. Words just flow keluar, macam saya dah rehearse benda ni lama sangat. It's just like I’ve practiced this speech in my head so many times, but only in my imagination.

Every time someone is hurting, I hear myself saying, "It's okay to cry," “It's okay to not be strong for today,” “Don’t give up,” “I’m proud of you,” “This too shall pass.” And every time, ada suara kecil dalam hati yang cakap, eh hello, ini ayat untuk aku sebenarnya. Those are the exact words I crave bila saya sendiri penat, lost, and tired of acting like “yeah I’m fine” is a personality.

Funny thing is, advice yang saya bagi orang… selalunya itulah advice yang saya paling susah nak ikut. Macam saya jadi motivational speaker untuk orang lain, tapi bila turn diri sendiri, err… nanti dulu. Still, encouraging others makes me feel like maybe, just maybe, I’m not as hopeless as my overthinking brain says.

Bila saya dengar cerita orang lain, suddenly mind saya jadi clear. Masalah saya yang berserabut tu sekejap macam mute. Fokus dekat luka orang lain somehow buat saya lupa luka sendiri. It reminds me kita semua sebenarnya cuma manusia yang perlukan words of reassurance. And sometimes, kita sendiri yang kena jadi suara tu. Even if it feels a bit fake at first.

By listening and giving comfort, saya mula nampak hidup saya dari angle lain. Strength yang saya nampak dalam orang lain, rupanya ada juga dalam diri saya. Hope yang saya bagi, sebenarnya saya pun simpan sikit untuk diri sendiri, hidden reserve, just in case. Healing orang lain slowly heals me too. Ironi, kan?

I always wonder why it’s easier to believe in others than to believe in myself. Maybe sebab kita ni memang terlalu jahat dengan diri sendiri. Kita jadi strict teacher untuk diri sendiri, but soft counsellor untuk orang lain. Double standard? Maybe. Human? Definitely.

These moments teach me one thing: everyone is struggling, cuma version dia lain-lain. And simple words actually have power. The words I give to others are not just for them. Mereka juga reminder untuk saya: saya tak keseorangan, saya kuat, dan saya boleh survive benda ni. Even if hari ni survive pun cukup-cukup makan. 

At the end of the day, the advice I give is just a reflection of my own deepest hopes. A quiet wish. A soft prayer. A way of saying, “Please let this be true for me too.” Maybe this is how we keep living. Not by being strong 24/7, but by being gentle especially when we are falling apart quietly. Humans are fragile creatures who need food, sleep, and occasional reassurance that we are not failing at life. A few nice words can keep someone alive for another day. Sometimes, a “you’re doing okay” is stronger than a whole motivational quote poster.

So if you ever catch yourself comforting others with words you wish to hear, please know this: those words are not wasted. They are little love letters you accidentally wrote to yourself. And maybe, slowly, you’ll start believing them too, I'll start believing them too. 🤍

Thank you from a tired but sincere human,

Nadiera Hashim

6:50 a.m

Kedah, Malaysia.