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The end of July 2024 was a time of profound sorrow and loss for me and my family. It was during this period that I lost my one and only beloved brother-in-law. His passing was not sudden but rather the culmination of a series of distressing events that unfolded over two weeks, culminating in a tragic end that left us grappling with grief and unanswered questions.

The ordeal began when my sister and her three children developed fevers. It was a troubling sign, but abang Sham seemed unaffected initially. A week later, however, he too began to show symptoms. His fever was accompanied by a severe headache, which prompted my sister to seek urgent help. On the morning of Saturday, July 28, she called me, distressed and desperate for assistance in taking her husband to the hospital.

We arrived at Hospital Kulim, where abang Sham was placed in the yellow zone, indicating a moderate level of severity. The hospital's service was frustratingly slow. The admission process took longer than expected, and due to visitor restrictions, I was unable to see him. I waited anxiously as the doctor conducted blood tests, the results of which were delayed, adding to my growing unease. When the results finally came in, they revealed a dangerously low hemoglobin level of only 5.

29 July, abang Sham was finally admitted to Ward 4. During this time, the medical staff attempted to address his critical condition. The plan was to administer a blood transfusion, but this effort quickly faltered. Shortly after the transfusion began, his condition deteriorated significantly. He complained of feeling extremely cold and started shivering uncontrollably, a sign that the blood was not compatible with his body. The doctor had to cancel the transfusion, but the damage was done.

Throughout the day, the care abang Sham received seemed inadequate. The doctor primarily monitored his condition and administered basic medication, such as Panadol, which was insufficient given the gravity of his situation. His oxygen levels dropped dramatically, making it increasingly difficult for him to breathe. An oxygen tube was installed to help him, but this measure was too little, too late.

On Tuesday, July 30, my sister was torn between her duties and her husband’s need for her presence. He repeatedly asked her to stay, clinging to her hand and requesting kisses on her cheek. It was a heartrending scene that demonstrated the depth of his distress and his reliance on her comfort. My sister, overwhelmed by the situation, was forced to leave briefly to tend to their child, Ayra, who was crying for her. Despite her promise to return early the next morning, the night brought devastating news.

At 3 am on Wednesday, July 31, abang Sham’s condition took a turn for the worse. My sister received a call from the hospital informing her that he was in critical condition. The doctors did all they could, performing CPR for 20 minutes, but despite their efforts, there was no pulse. Abang Sham passed away at 4:46 am, a heartbreaking end to a battle that had started with what seemed like a simple fever.

In the wake of his death, I was overwhelmed by a mix of grief and frustration. The slow response from the medical staff, particularly regarding the blood transfusion, and the delays in transferring him to a more capable facility, contributed to a sense of helplessness and anger. It is deeply troubling to think that such a dire outcome could result from what began as a seemingly minor illness compounded by a lack of timely and effective medical intervention.

The loss of my brother-in-law has left an irreplaceable void in our lives. His passing has been a stark reminder of the fragility of life and the critical importance of timely and efficient medical care. As we come to terms with his absence, we are left to grapple with the painful reality that his death might have been preventable, had the response been more immediate and effective. This tragedy is a profound loss that will forever impact our family, and the unanswered questions about the adequacy of his care only add to our enduring sorrow.

On the day of the funeral, the process was marked by an unexpected sense of calm and reverence. The jenazah of my brother-in-law' was prepared and buried after solat zohor. Throughout the morning and into the afternoon, family and friends gathered to mengaji together for arwah abang. The atmosphere in the living room was somber but respectful, and I found myself repeatedly reciting Surah Yassin for abang Sham. The praise for abang Sham’s character was abundant; visitors spoke highly of his kindness, generosity, and the charitable acts he performed throughout his life.

A heavy rain fell that morning, causing concern about the state of the grave. However, when the time came to move the jenazah, the grave was remarkably dry, with no signs of waterlogging. All arrangements for the funeral went smoothly, and an anonymous benefactor covered the expenses for managing the remains. The first night of the kenduri arwah saw an outpouring of support from the community, reflecting the profound impact my abang ipar had on those around him.

In the days leading up to his hospitalization, my brother-in-law had shared unsettling dreams with my sister. He described sitting in another world filled with people in white jubah and seeing an old man in a white jubah calling abang to follow him. These dreams, which he shared with us, seemed to hint at an impending departure, though we were reluctant to fully grasp their significance. It is now clear that there were signs of his passing that we did not fully understand at the time.

The loss of my brother-in-law is a profound tragedy that has left an indelible mark on my family’s heart. His passing serves as a somber reminder of life’s fragility and the importance of timely and effective medical care. As we remember him and the legacy of kindness he left behind, we are left to reflect on the profound impact he had on all who knew him. 

One of pinjaman Allah yang tersangat sekejap. Allah pinjamkan abang untuk kakak & our family only for 12 years. Semoga Mohd Hisham bin Johari ditempatkan dalam kalangan orang beriman, semoga diampunkan segala dosa arwah, semoga Allah terima segala amalan arwah dan mengangkat darjatnya di sisi Allah. Semoga pemergian abang menjadi kerehatan sebenar dari urusan dunia, di luaskan kubur, diterangkan kubur, dimudahkan menjawab semua soalan di alam kubur, dilindungi dari azab dan seksa kubur dan semoga syurga tempat abang.

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My Dearest Ayah,

As the years pass by, the ache in my heart for your presence only grows stronger. July 24, 2006, feels like a lifetime ago, yet the memories of you remain vivid in my mind, like treasures I hold onto dearly. I was just a little girl of seven when you left this world, and now, at 25, I find myself longing for your guidance and warmth more than ever.

I miss the sound of your voice, Ayah. It's been so long since I heard you sing those beautiful P-Ramlee’s songs to me before I drifted off to sleep. Your voice was like a lullaby, soothing and comforting, wrapping me in a blanket of love and security. Now, I find solace in my headphones, listening to music that reminds me of you, but it's never quite the same.

The memories we shared at the playground after your long days of work are etched in my heart forever. Every time I visit that place, I'm flooded with nostalgia, playing back those precious moments like a cherished movie reel. How I wish I could recreate those memories with you once more, to feel your hand in mine as we laughed and played together.

Life without you has been a journey filled with ups and downs, struggles and triumphs. There are days when the weight of loneliness feels unbearable, when I yearn for your guidance and wisdom. But through it all, I carry your love within me, a beacon of light in the darkness.

Thank you, Ayah, for being the most incredible father a daughter could ever ask for. Though our time together was short, the impact you made on my life is immeasurable. I am proud to be your youngest daughter, and I would choose you as my father again and again, without hesitation.

I pray that God has granted you a place in paradise, where you can find eternal peace and joy. And until the day we are reunited, know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers. I miss you more than words can express, Ayah, and I will love you for all eternity.

رَّبِّ اغْفِرْلِي وَلِوَالِدَيَّ وَارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيراً

With all my love,
Your cute bambam peachy daughter
Nadiera Hashim
6:45am
Kedah, Malaysia.

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Assalamualaikum, hi everyone. Hope all is well. This week had been a rollercoaster of emotions for me. It felt like every little thing could set me off, and I found myself getting teary-eyed over the smallest of issues. One day, I woke up feeling like I had lost my appetite entirely. It was as if my body refused to cooperate with my desire to nourish it. Despite the lack of hunger pangs, I knew I needed to eat to keep myself going. So, I found solace in repetition, in the familiar comfort of a meal that never failed to soothe me: Nasi, telur mata and kicap manis!

"In the midst of life's storms, let comfort food be your anchor, guiding you through the roughest seas with its warmth and familiarity."

In a small kitchen, filled with the aroma of garlic and soy sauce, I found solace in my simple yet comforting meal: white rice topped with a perfectly fried egg. It was my go-to dish whenever life felt overwhelming, a beacon of warmth and familiarity in times of sadness. As I cracked the egg into the pan, the sound of the shell hitting the surface echoed through the room, a reassuring rhythm that grounded me. The garlic danced in the fragrant oil, releasing its savory essence into the air, mingling with the soy sauce to create a symphony of flavors that tantalized my senses.

With each scoop of rice onto my plate, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders, as if the burdens of the day were being replaced with nourishing comfort. The golden yolk of the fried egg, still slightly runny, spilled over the rice like liquid sunshine, infusing every grain with richness and depth. As I took my first bite, I closed my eyes, allowing myself to be fully present in the moment, savoring each mouthful as if it were a hug from within. The familiar taste transported me to happier times, reminding me that even in the darkest of days, there was still joy to be found in the simplest of pleasures.

With each bite, I felt my spirits lift, my troubles melting away like snowflakes in the warmth of the sun. And as I finished my meal, a sense of contentment washed over me, filling my heart with hope and gratitude.

For me, white rice and fried egg with garlic and soy sauce wasn't just a meal—it was a lifeline, a source of comfort and strength that helped me navigate the rough seas of life with grace and resilience. And as I wiped the last traces of soy sauce from my plate, I knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, I would always find solace in the simple pleasure of a home-cooked meal. 

As the week went on, my emotions began to settle, like the calm after a storm. And through it all, my steadfast meal remained a constant source of comfort, a reminder that even on the darkest of days, there is still warmth and nourishment to be found in the simplest of things.

Till then.

The above was written as part of an attempt to waste time,
Nadiera Hashim
4:20pm
Kedah, Malaysia.

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Assalamualaikum and hi! Last monday abang Keyrol took me and kakak to watch The Expect movie starring Aaron Aziz and Syafiq Kyle. It was a good movie. Eh Syafiq Kyle is kinda cute rupanya ek. After that we went to Mixue to buy ice cream and drink. It was my first time buying Mixue. For a moment I feel like ice cream has always held a special place in my heart—a sweet indulgence that never fails to bring a smile to my face. On that day, my love for this frozen treat reached new heights as my abang belanja me a Mixue sundae ice cream, and let me tell you, it was love at first taste.

As I savored each spoonful of the creamy concoction, I couldn't help but marvel at its unique flavor. Unlike any ice cream I've had before, the Mixue sundae boasted the subtle taste of susu tepung, a flavor profile that instantly captivated my taste buds. While my abang and kakak weren't as enamored with its taste, I found myself falling head over heels for its creamy goodness.

Perhaps it's because I've always had a fondness for milk, making the susu tepung flavor a welcome surprise. Or maybe it's the novelty of trying something new after years of sticking to plain vanilla. Whatever the reason, I found myself utterly enchanted by the Mixue sundae, relishing each moment of bliss it brought me.

But my love for ice cream runs deeper than just its taste. For me, ice cream is more than just a dessert—it's a source of comfort and joy, a companion through life's ups and downs. Whether I'm feeling sad, mentally drained, or overwhelmed by the challenges of life, a scoop of ice cream never fails to lift my spirits.

There's something magical about the way ice cream can turn a bad day around, transforming tears into smiles and worries into laughter. With each creamy bite, I'm reminded to embrace the sweetness of life and find joy in the simplest of pleasures.

And it's not just the taste that brings me comfort—it's the ritual of indulging in a scoop of ice cream, the act of treating myself to a moment of pure happiness. Every time I buy myself an ice cream, it feels like a gentle reminder to be kind to myself, to persevere through life's challenges with patience and grace.

So, as I sit there, basking in the afterglow of my Mixue sundae experience, I can't help but feel grateful for the gift of ice cream. In a world filled with uncertainty, it's reassuring to know that I can always count on this frozen delight to brighten my day and lift my spirits.

As the saying goes, "Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first." And for me, that dessert will always be ice cream—a sweet reminder that no matter what life throws my way, there's always room for a little happiness in the form of a scoop or two.

Till then. 

May the force be with you, 
Nadiera Hashim
8:30pm
Kedah, Malaysia.

Ps: Here is the picture of me with the Ice cream! Its been a long time since i took a selfie. Kinda awkward hehe 😛

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Last year, on this date marked the beginning of a remarkable journey for me as I welcomed two furry companions into my life: Boba and Cengkih. As fate would have it, these two adorable felines, siblings bound by a shared lineage, became an integral part of my daily existence.


Boba, with his sleek tuxedo coat, and Cengkih, adorned in a vibrant orange merigold, captured my heart from the moment I laid eyes on them. It was through a fortuitous encounter on a Facebook group that I first learned of their existence. The owner, burdened by caring for six cats, sought to find them loving homes. Without hesitation, I knew Boba and Cengkih were meant to be mine. 


The decision to adopt Boba and Cengkih is not just a spontaneous desire but rather the culmination of a deep desire to provide a nurturing environment for furry companions. Having never embarked on a fully indoor pet ownership journey before, I was both excited and anxious about what lay ahead.


Cengkih, the gentle soul of the duo, embodies tranquility and grace in every aspect of his being. His soft meows, reminiscent of whispers in the wind, serve as gentle reminders of his presence. With a habitual liking for peaceful slumber, Cengkih finds solace in the warmth of shared beds, seeking comfort alongside me and mama. Despite my best efforts to engage him with toys, Cengkih remains indifferent, preferring the simplicity of quiet companionship over silly play. I can say Cengkih is very manja with me and mama but he hates hugging people but loves belly rub so much. 



In stark contrast, Boba emerges as the mischievous counterpart, a whirlwind of energy and mischief. His boisterous meows echo through the house, a testament to his spirited nature and unyielding zest for life. Boba's insatiable curiosity often leads him astray, forever seeking new adventures beyond the confines of home. He once keluar senyap-senyap and went to lepak at my neighbour house. Yet, beneath his bravado lies a timid heart, easily startled by the unknown and quick to seek refuge in familiar surroundings. Well both Boba and Cengkih are coward. Despite his bold manner, Boba's loyalty remains unwavering, his love evident in his desire to remain by my side and that of mama. He loves hugging me!

Together, Cengkih and Boba form a dynamic duo, united by their shared love for me and mama. Their fearful towards my other siblings speaks volumes of their unwavering loyalty, as they seek comfort in the familiarity of my presence. 



Cengkih and Boba embody the beauty of individuality within the bonds of companionship. Through their distinct personalities and quirks, they remind me of the depth of connection that exists between humans and their beloved feline friends. In their presence, I find solace, laughter, and unconditional love, forging memories that will be cherished for a lifetime.

The past year has been a journey of mutual growth and companionship, marked by moments of laughter, warmth, and unconditional love. Boba and Cengkih have taught me the true meaning of responsibility and compassion, reminding me of the profound impact that animals can have on our lives. In their presence, I have found solace amidst life's uncertainties, their unwavering companionship serving as a source of strength and comfort. Whether curled up beside me on the bed or playfully chasing after each other, Boba and Cengkih have become more than just pets; they are cherished members of my family.



Looking ahead, I am filled with gratitude for the opportunity to share my life with these two extraordinary beings. As we embark on another year together, I am eager to continue nurturing our bond and creating lasting memories that will be treasured for years to come.

The adoption of Boba and Cengkih has been a transformative experience, enriching my life in ways I could have never imagined. Through their presence, I have discovered the true meaning of love, companionship, and the profound connection that exists between humans and animals. Boba and Cengkih may have entered my life as two strangers, but they have since become irreplaceable pillars of my existence, forever etched in the fabric of my heart. I hope they both will be healthy always and live longer by my side. I once read, throughout our life, we may adopt many cats, however throughout their life, they only have us. Till then.



Are you still reading this?,
Nadiera Hashim
2:45pm
Kedah, Malaysia.



Ps: I wrote this blog post on May 30, but i forgot to publish it. Oh stupid tuwentyfaif years old lady. 

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About me

About Me

Nadiha, a 25-year-old girl who tends to overthink things, so I find solace in expressing my thoughts and feelings through writing. I have a deep affection for green tea, the vastness of the sky, rainy days, adorable cats, and all cute things.

Dear Allah

Dear Allah

Dear Allah, please give my parents a long life, good health and always keep them under the shade of Your Mercy & Protection. Have mercy upon them as they brought me up when I was small.

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