Last year, on this date marked the beginning of a remarkable journey for me as I welcomed two furry companions into my life: Boba and Cengkih. As fate would have it, these two adorable felines, siblings bound by a shared lineage, became an integral part of my daily existence.

Boba, with his sleek tuxedo coat, and Cengkih, adorned in a vibrant orange merigold, captured my heart from the moment I laid eyes on them. It was through a fortuitous encounter on a Facebook group that I first learned of their existence. The owner, burdened by caring for six cats, sought to find them loving homes. Without hesitation, I knew Boba and Cengkih were meant to be mine. 

The decision to adopt Boba and Cengkih is not just a spontaneous desire but rather the culmination of a deep desire to provide a nurturing environment for furry companions. Having never embarked on a fully indoor pet ownership journey before, I was both excited and anxious about what lay ahead.

Cengkih, the gentle soul of the duo, embodies tranquility and grace in every aspect of his being. His soft meows, reminiscent of whispers in the wind, serve as gentle reminders of his presence. With a habitual liking for peaceful slumber, Cengkih finds solace in the warmth of shared beds, seeking comfort alongside me and mama. Despite my best efforts to engage him with toys, Cengkih remains indifferent, preferring the simplicity of quiet companionship over silly play. I can say Cengkih is very manja with me and mama but he hates hugging people but loves belly rub so much. 

Assalamualaikum and hi everyone. I hope you are doing well. Have you watched Disney Tangled? A story about a girl named Rapunzel with long golden hair trapped by her evil 'mother' in the highest tower until she meets a man named Flynn Rider. When she is caged in the tower, she wonders, "When will my life begin?" She even has a song about it, a good one. I still remember the first time Tangled came out at the cinema in 3D, my kakak and abang took me to watch the movie with them. It is my all time favorite Disney movie.

Have you ever felt the same as Rapunzel? You sit and ponder, "When will my life begin?" 

You exist, obviously, but you are not truly living.

Do you get what I mean?

I wake up in the morning, scroll through my phone, take a bath, go to work or wherever, and then I come back home, take a bath again, scroll through my phone again until I fall asleep. And it repeats, over and over again.

I feel like Rapunzel, trapped in the highest tower by her cruel mother, forced to do the same things repeatedly. Except, in this situation, I am both Mother Gothel and Rapunzel.

Being a Rapunzel, I know there is life out there, something I long to see, but something within me is too afraid to venture out. Too afraid to discover if there is happiness on the other side of the road. Too afraid to break free from the routine that is so boring but in some twisted way feels comfortable. Or maybe too afraid to realize that all this time, I’ve been spending my youth unhappily, wasting it on something so mundane.

You see, sometimes, without even realizing it, we become like Mother Gothel, caging ourselves in. We know we’re not “exactly” happy.

We keep lying to ourselves, saying "this is enough for me." but is it really?

I already have the answer in my heart. 

Sometimes we try to protect ourselves too much, even from happiness. We rob ourselves of the potential happiness we could have. We feel content with just feeling “plain” every day.

What can we do then? I think the Rapunzel and Mother Gothel within us need a Flynn Rider, someone unafraid to take risks, to venture out into the world we long for, recklessly.

Till then. 

Like a unicorn, I'm off to spread magic elsewhere,
Nadiera Hashim
8:30pm
Kedah, Malaysia.

A reminder, Malaysian waste over 19,228 tonnes of food daily during Ramadan and the number annually increases. So lets practice moderation and sustainability. Buy only what you really need and don't forget to bring your own containers or bags. 

'Hidup ini warna warni, tidak mungkin hanya hitam putih saja. Jangan berharap selalu bahagia, jangan juga berpikir kesedihan akan selamanya.' 

So worry not, you'll be fine, you'll be good, Nadiera. 

Because life was hard back then, I decided to adopt a cat. I really want one. The last time I adopted a cat was when I was in high school. My cat, Mino was the last cat I adopted. After mino died, I was quite traumatized to adopt a cat. I don't think I'm strong enough to face another loss. But last year there was a feeling in my heart that said I needed to adopt at least one cat. So I decided to find any stray cat to adopt in the facebook group. Make it short, there was this one girl dm-ed me, she said she got 6 kittens & she couldn't take care of them. I went to her house, there were 6 kittens. Actually, if I were rich, I would adopt all of them. But I can't afford it. At first I only wanted to adopt one kitten, but my brother-in-law said to adopt two so that the kittens wouldn't feel lonely. 

Tuan Muda Boba & Tuan Muda Cengkih. The name I gave them. Both were born in April 2023. Both are male. The presence of both of them in this house has a very positive effect on me. Now there are Boba and Cengkih to be there for me. I have friends to play with, friends to sing with, friends to talk tk and friends to sleep with. I can see my mental health getting better day by day 🥰

Hardwork will never betray you.

Alhamdulillah for everything, ya Allah.  

Hi, sekarang dah half of 2022. Lately banyak benda yang berlaku dalam kehidupan. Ada suka, ada duka, ada masa kita rasa lost tak tahu nak buat apa dan rasa apa. Kita manusia mesti ada lalui semua fasa tu cuma yang membezakan kita, diri kita sendiri. Ada yang tabah hadapi dugaan hidup, ada yang langsung tak pedulikan segala overthinking, dan ada juga yang rebah dalam hadapi ujian hidup masing-masing. Walaupun rebah, tak bermaksud kita gagal. Kepada semua yang sedang menjalani ujian kehidupan sama ada ujian dari segi kenikmatan hidup atau ujian yang yang berat, saya doakan saya dan semua orang kuat dan tabah menghadapi semua yang berlaku. 

Sekarang, saya berada dalam fasa nak bersendirian. Too much things yang berlaku dalam beberapa bulan ni yang membuatkann saya overwhelmed. Dalam masa saya duduk seorang diri, mendiamkan diri, memerhati sekeliling dan dengar apa yang orang sekeliling sedang bualkan, banyak benda yang terdetik dalam hati saya sampai saya nak buat posting tentang reflection tentang kehidupan. Tadi saya terbaca satu quote :-

'Take time daily to reflect on how much you have. It may not be all that you want, but remember someone somewhere is dreaming to have what you have.' 

Kita as manusia selalu lupa nak bersyukur untuk sekecil-kecil benda yang Allah bagi dalam kehidupan seharian kita. Start dari bangun tidur, sarapan, mandi air bersih, dapat berjalan gunakan kedua-dua kaki, dapat hirup udara, dapat gelak dengan kawan-kawan, ada yang boleh bersembang dan bermesra dengan mak ayah, makan sedap-sedap, dapat menuntut ilmu dengan selesa, lecturer batalkan kelas, dan lain-lain nikmat yang selalu kita lepas pandang. Tapi as manusia, dalam banyak-banyak nikmat yang kita dapat dalam seharian, kita masih ada benda nak mengeluh kan? Nikmat lain yang Allah dah bagi kita lupa and take granted for that. 

Bukan orang lain ja, saya pun salah seorang manusia yang selalu take granted dengan nikmat Allah bagi dalam seharian. Bila saya duduk sendirian, jauhkan diri dari kawan-kawan, saya nampak banyak benda yang saya ambil mudah. Semalam lepas kelas, saya habiskan masa seorang diri berjalan kaki sekitar campus, terjumpa sekumpulan pelajar berjalan depan saya. Salah seorang pelajar tu merungut sebab cuaca panas & minta hujan. Bila saya dengan rungutan pelajar tadi, saya terus pandang langit. Banyaaaaak awan berkepuk-kepuk dekat atas sana. Saya tersenyum, buka phone terus saya snap beberapa gambar awan dan langit. Bila dah sampai tempat yang teduh, terdetik dalam hati, langit cerah & awan yang cantik yang Allah bagi tu pun ada orang masih merungut sebab ye lah, kita manusia apa ja tak merungut kan? Panas merungut, sejuk menrungut. Saya tak mengata pelajar tu sebab cuaca semalam memang panas pun. 

Dalam hidup ni juga, kita selalu take granted dengan kebaikan manusia. Bila Allah kirim nikmat berjumpa dengan kawan-kawan yang baik, kadang kita ambil mudah benda tu. Sama ada kita gunakan kawan kita hanya untuk kebaikan diri dan tinggal atau kita memang hargai kawan kita tu. Beberapa minggu ni saya perasan ramai kawan yang cuma ambil kesempatan. Makin dah nak tamat belajar, makin nampak belang semua orang. Ada yang betul-betul baik, dan ada yang pura-pura datang dekat cuma untuk kepentingan diri sendiri. Semoga kita semua dijauhkan dengan manusia yang berperangai macam tu. Makin saya besar, makin saya belajar untuk tak letak expectation yang tinggi dekat manusa. Manusia ni sifatnya menghampakan. Kadang kawan baik sendiri pun boleh buat kita terasa hati sampai kita down dan overthinking dengan apa yang dia cakap. Apa yang kita boleh expect dari seorang manusia kan? Sebaik mana, serapat mana pun kita, ada masa sifat manusia kita akan menghampakan orang sekeliling. 

Dalam masa 6 bulan ni, saya belajar jangan letakkan kepercayaan dekat manusia terutama orang luar. Rapat macam mana pun kita, one day kita akan digantikan dan dilupakan. Hasbunallahu wa ni'mal wakeel.  Dalam tempoh bersendirian saya belajar untuk letak kepercayaan 100% dekat Allah, biarlah cukup Allah yang mendengar masalah, tangisan, amarah dan lain lain perasaan dalam diri saya. Kalau kita cerita masalah kita dekat manusia, belum tentu dia faham, belum tentu dia betul-betul dengar. Jadi cukup lah Allah sebagai pelindung, peneman dan pendengar untuk masalah kita. Ada masalah terus mengadu dekat Allah. 

Well i guess that is it. Semoga yang membaca (if any) dalam lindungan dan kasih Allah selalu. Till then.